E3 2012 Part 3: The Homestretch

Last time on IG’s Endless E3 Snoozefest
Rewritten Transformers canon? I doubt that. A Capcom rep shows even they can be dumber than the fraudulent gamer that somehow scores interviews. Some major bias towards Skylanders. Bores somehow scores interviews with Ubisoft on Assassin’s Creed and Rayman. He loses major nerd points for not being able to identify the two main characters in Star Trek. A boring-ass montage about Mario. And some things about Darksiders II and some indie game.

And now, the conclusion.

Video #18: IG’s E3 2012 Swag Round up Video
Date: July 5th 2012

The first video to be posted on YouTube only. I guess Rayman Legends really was the last video there.
As you can guess from the title, the video is Bores showing off the stuff he got at E3. The reason he’s doing this? Because SWAGshow couldn’t go. Whatever…

Ugggh, the entire video is Bores showing stuff and saying “this was cool” or “this was neat” or something similar.
He’s really redundant too, “Over at Sony, there was this Sackboy doll handed out by Sony”. Or he’s really obvious “There’s this Dungeons and Dragons Nevermore mug if you played the game… I guess there’s a new Dungeons and Dragons game”.
And what’s the point of the transition effects? You’re doing a vlog, you don’t need to put that damn flashy effect in every couple of minutes. Keep it simple, stupid!

He also brings up Haunted Investigators again when showing a Resident Evil 6 flashlight. Here’s a thought, finish your first episode before planning the ones you haven’t started.

There’s really nothing to say. It was that boring.

Video #19: Top 5 Best of E3 2012 Show stealers
Date: July 6th 2012

Another YouTube exclusive.
As a reminder, here’s his Top 5 from last year (in no particular order as he put it).
1. Super Mario 3D Land. (Awesome game)
2. Sonic Generations (Pretty good game)
3. Ninja Gaiden 3 (Easy piece of crap with no variety, and heinously boring)
4. Kinect Star Wars (How the hell did he think this would be good? No surprise that it ended up sucking)
5. Kirby’s Return to Dream Land (Great game)

As the description notes, this will also be in no particular order. Show stealers huh? Let’s see what he picks.

1. Injustice: Gods Among Us
Really?
He’s looking forward to this one because it has “fighting between DC characters” and “special moves” and “all that good stuff”. … Right.
He also brings up how it’s not using Fatalities. Why do people keep bringing this up? I don’t care that it’s the same people behind Mortal Kombat, DC isn’t going to allow their characters to give or receive fatalities. Especially since a good number of them DO NOT KILL!

2. The Last of Us
“Last of Us by Sony” Naughty Dog Chris, they aren’t a small unknown. They’ve been a big name since the hey days of the Playstation 1.
“This one took everyone by storm” This wasn’t a world premiere, we saw a trailer during the Spike VGAs. Yes, this was the first bit of gameplay, but I’ve seen people compare this to I Am Alive or Uncharted. I know Naughty Dog did the latter, but that doesn’t help this.
“It’s a very original concept” Pffffffffffft.

3. Tomb Raider
Oh lord, this game. Everything I hear about it makes me want to vomit.
“By Ei-dos” You pronounced it wrong, and I believe the company you’re looking for is “Square-Enix”. They own Eidos now, the game is even being published by Square-Enix.

“The gameplay they showed was simply enthralling” *plays Uncharted theme*
And he goes on about how it’s so action packed and… *sighs* You are way to easy to impress, it looks like every other action game out right now.

4. Rayman Legends
“A very co-op oriented game” Too bad you don’t have anyone to play with.
Nothing else to say really…

5. New Super Mario Bros. U
… A rehash. An HD Wii game. *sighs* Why do I bother?
 He does acknowledge not everyone will agree with him so he might be getting smarter… until he says that there’s a vast difference between this and the Wii version. No, there really isn’t. All they did was upscale it, add a few new elements, and called it a new game.
“The Mario universe more expansive and interesting” No, something like Galaxy or 3D Land did that. This only exists because the Japanese love it.  The NSMB games sell way more than the original stuff like Galaxy or 3D Land.

The video ends with IG saying tomorrow is going to be the worst-of list. Oh… joy. Then he shows the title screen to New Super Mario Bros. 2. That’s the wrong game you idiot!

I’m surprised there was no God of War though.

Video #20: Top 5 Worst of E3 2012 Games Demo’s & Presentations
Date: July 7th 2012

I think there’s a grammar error in the title.
So this might be the last video, though there might be a blooper video like last year.

Here’s his Top 5 Worst (rather, disappointing) from last year.
1. WWE ‘12 (Run of the mill WWE game)
2. Final Fantasy XIII-2 (Depending on who you ask, it was either better or worse than XIII)
3. X-Men Destiny (How far Silicon Knights have fallen…)
4. Twisted Metal (Insanely fun)
5. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Awesome game)

It’s longer than the last video, let’s see where this goes.

1. Madden NFL 13
… HOW?! How can you be disappointed in a Madden game? It’s the same damn thing every year! It’s worse than annual installments of Call of Duty or Mario!

He mentions how the MS conference really hyped these new features and he had to get a hands-on look. … You fell for Madden hype. I can’t believe you’re really this dumb.
He tries it, and saw the only new thing was shouting commands through Kinect. Yes, the accessory you can’t even use in your tiny tiny gaming room. How did you even plan to play Kinect Star Wars in that area?
“It’s more work than it’s worth” You could just use your controller. It’s an optional feature. Like using the Kinect for Mass Effect 3, or Skyrim, or Ghost Recon: Future Soldier. This isn’t Kinect Sports.

2. Wonderbook
Well, at least he agrees with the internet majority for once. And he actually says what most people were thinking. Huh…

3. South Park: The Stick of Truth
Wait, weren’t you really excited for this one?
“I thought it was really cool to see Matt and Trey Parker” It’s Matt Stone and Trey Parker! They’re not brothers, we went over this!
He’s upset because he couldn’t get an interview. So what? Obviously not every game is going to have a rep there to give info. Perhaps they want to surprise people? That’s how Matt & Trey work, they make an episode in six days and leave the details a surprise. Sure, this is a game and it’s much more complicated, but the point still stands.

4. PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale
Or as he calls it “PS Vita All-Stars Battle Royale”. Hey idiot, it’s on both PS3 and Vita. The conference even made it clear that during the demo, two people were on PS3, and two were on Vita. Pay attention!

At least he says what everyone else has been saying, it looks like Smash Bros. Though he keeps saying “Super Smash Bros Brawl”. Just say Smash Bros, you don’t have to say the full title of the third game. Makes life easier.

5. Nintendo Land
He brings up how they spent a lot of time on Nintendo Land. If you did a little research, there’s a rumor that Retro Studios had a game planned but called Nintendo and told them “Don’t show it”. You can tell something happened from Reggie’s annoyed expression at the end of the conference.

“Virtual World inside the Wii U” Nooooo. It’s like Wii Spots, but made to show how to use the Wii U Gamepad. It’s a separate game, it’s not “in the Wii U”. It might be a digital download, but I think Nintendo is going to package it with Wii U, making the need for a digital version pointless.

“I could be totally wrong” Yes. Yes you are.

He then complains that they barely spent any time on Mario. … It’s the same fucking game as the Wii version! With new levels and different power-ups! It’s not a big deal!

He then goes into how he doesn’t understand Nintendo’s strategy, and how they’re focusing on this “younger audience”. Oh fuck you, you’re not going to invoke this again!
“Us old school gamers that played on the NES, we’ve grown up now” GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- *stops* *breathes* Where the hell did this come from? You’ve never invoked “Nintendo is Kiddy” before this. Now you’re all “Nintendo needs to stop focusing on kids”. What the hell is this?

“Give us Metroid” You got two original Wii titles! Miyamoto wants one for Wii U. You’re likely going to get it.
“Give us gritty Zelda” And what is this “gritty Zelda” you keep going on about? It’s not going to happen! Nintendo is not going to lose millions on an M-Rated Zelda! The closest you’re going to get is Twilight Princess! Fucking play that and don’t expect Link to turn into Kratos any time soon!
He also brings up Other M for some reason. If this relates to “Nintendo is Kiddy”, that is soooo far from the truth. Other M was hated because of a terrible story that completely ruined Samus Aran’s character.
“I don’t think Nintendo will ever catch on making these games for older audiences” Fire Emblem. Also, Nintendo has ALWAYS been about gaming everyone can play. … Seriously where the fuck did this attitude come from? Are you trying to appeal to the dudebros that play Call of Duty all day? I just don’t get it.

So he ends the video, saying he’ll have one more of bloopers or something, and after that it’s back to “normal broadcasting”. Yeah, waiting months at a time for a new video. That sure is normal.

You know, if the next video is just bloopers, that means I’m done with this recap. I need to wash the E3 stench off, it’s permeated for far too long. Hell, it’s been a month since the conference ended! It goes to show how long he drags this shit on...

EDIT: Checking his site, he finally brings up Tribal Hollywood's purpose. They "helped with the show", whatever that means, and they provided products he will ... give away... in the coming weeks... *sighs* I thought you got rid of the contests! He also says to check their site because he loves their products.
You know, let me check and see what they have. *clicks link, gets 404* Huh? *checks URL* Oh jeez, he completely screwed up the URL. He included both his site and Tribal Hollywood. How do you do that?

*manually visits their site* Jewelery for men. Stuff like pendants, chains, necklaces, rings and so on, but intended for men. This raises a couple questions. If Bores loves their products so much, why does he never wear them in his videos? (EDIT: He wears a necklace in the three videos recapped here, hard to notice) And he said he plans to give this stuff away, does he really think his 11-12 year old fans would be interested in this?

This is the type of stuff douchebags wear. ... Makes sense Bores would like it then.

EDIT 2: His montage/bloopers video is up. It's a load of nothing. Though the video does show he got an interview about a Family Guy game, wonder why he dropped it.