E3 2013 Part 2: Is He Given Any Direction At All?

Last time, in Irate Gamer’s E3 coverage.
Bores gushes over Batman or things that feel like Batman.
He was incapable of understanding why people cheered at Sony’s press conference.
He was inexplicably excited for Halo and Dark Souls 2.
He brushed off Nintendo like it was nothing.

And now, the continuation.

Video #9: Skylanders Swap Force E3 2013 - Epic Interview Part 1 (Review, Preview)
June 22nd 2013
Exclusive to YouTube.

And here’s the Skylanders. No surprise there.
Epic? Pffffft.
Wait, Part 1? *checks time* 12 MINUTES?!
Hell no. I’m not watching this. It’s probably just a bunch of generic questions that amount to nothing new. No. No. No. No. No. NO!

Video #10: Skylanders Swap Force E3 2013 - Epic Interview Part 2 (Kaos’s Mom, TarClops)
June 23rd 2013
Exclusive to YouTube

Once again, no.
I will point out the grammar error in the title. If a word ends with “s”, you merely add an apostrophe by itself. Otherwise you get stuff like “Chris’s”. What’s sad is that this isn’t the first time he’s done this. In that really old “Loyal Order of Chris” video on his Y2B2006 account, there’s a sign that says “Loyal Order of Chris’s”. One would think that they would teach him the correct way considering his name ends with “s”.

I… I just don’t care anymore. The Skylanders obsession is getting tedious.

Video #11: Super Mario Wii-U 3D - E3 2013 Interview Preview.
June 24th 2013

Back to something that isn’t Skylanders.
By the way Chris, how is Mario okay but Zelda needs to be “dark and gritty”. When people say they want Zelda to be like Skyrim or Dark Souls, they’re talking about the gameplay!
I won’t be too hard on him this time since I’m kind of looking forward to this game. Though like many others, I expected a game on the scale of 64 or Galaxy, and we just got an upgraded 3D Land with cats, and the Super Mario Bros 2/US cast with their same abilities. But the Wii U is in such a bad drought right now that I’ll take it. Plus, I like cats.

Of course, Bores calls the game “Super Mario World 3D” instead of “3D World”.
“I don’t think we can fit another anagram in there!” … You have no idea what an anagram is do you?
“I like it a lot better than uh Mario Wii U” I know he’s referring to New Super Mario Bros. U but… ugh it sounds so wrong.

Bores gushes over how the game harkens back to the old school for people like him. I thought you hated Super Mario Bros. 2? You made an entire video on it, it’s the one that GOT YOU NOTICED!
He mentions they “brought back” the Fuzzies from Super Mario World. You need to play more Mario games because the Fuzzies showed up in a lot more titles. All the Paper Mario games for instance, along with recent outings like Galaxy 2 and 3D Land .
“If I got it wrong, don’t send me a bunch of e-mails” No you got it right, but you’re still going to get a bunch of angry e-mails over other things. Especially since you’re bleeding subscribers.

Slightly off-topic, but GotGame’s E3 Awards are called the “Epic Win Awards”. … Yeah, that should give you a clue about how their site is run.

Video #12: Super Mario Wii-U 3D (Level 2-1) E3 2013 Gameplay
June 25th 2013
Exclusive to YouTube

Just like Mario Kart 8, we have more footage of Bores trying out the games.
Something I forgot to mention about the Mario Kart 8 footage. Bores suuuucks at the game. Like, really sucks. He keeps crashing into walls, he uses power-ups at the wrong time, it was a train wreck.
So does Bores fare any better here? Hell no! He is utterly terrible. No idea what he’s doing, the person playing Luigi is carrying him.

By the way, no sound again. Was it that hard to add music or post-commentary? Something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89VuI2nyINw

Video #13: Super Mario Wii-U 3D (Level 1-5, 4-2) E3 2013 Gameplay Interview Preview.
June 25th 2013
Exclusive to YouTube

Another silent gameplay video. The title is a lie, there’s no interview here to be found.
Also, it’s called “Super Mario 3D World”, not “Super Mario Wii U 3D”. Do some fucking fact-checking dumbass.

Video #14: Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze - E3 2013 Interview Preview
June 25th 2013

Here’s Donkey Kong. Wonder why he didn’t mention it in the overall recap video from before.
He opens the interview saying he felt the last game was “missing something”. Didn’t you heap piles of praise onto it? I remember your review was gushing about how it’s such an “awesome upgrade that stays true to the ca-lassics” or some buzzword-filled crap like that. Then again, you didn’t play past World 2 so…

Other than that, lazy lazy interview. In fact it’s the shortest one. Characters, power-ups, same old shit.

Video #15: Dying Light - E3 2013 Interview Preview
June 26th 2013

Huh… didn’t see that coming. A zombie first-person shooter. Especially since Bores has avoided talking about FPS games since he complains they give him motion sickness.
*reads description* “The New Zombie Game from Warner Brothers” Actually, WB is just publishing. Development is being done by Techland, whose recent titles include Call of Juarez: The Cartel (gross), Call of Juarez: Gunslinger, Dead Island and Dead Island Riptide. Oooh boy…
Why are you showing interest in Dying Light? Didn’t you say you hated Dead Island and that it also gave you motion sickness?

Oh wow, it’s shorter than the Donkey Kong video.
Yeah… whole lot of nothing. Enemies, weapons, the game itself doesn’t even sound that exciting.
I do love how the developer was promoting that not only do fight zombies, you fight humans too. Yeah, that happened in The Last of Us, and that’s a better game. I know not to “judge a book by its cover”, but Techland’s resume leaves a lot to be desired.

Video #16: Magic 2014 mtg Duels of the Planeswalkers - E3 2013 Interview Review
June 26th 2013
Exclusive to YouTube

Oh great… more Magic the Gathering. At least he spelled “duels” right this time.

*watches video* I didn’t understand a thing about that. I’ll have to consult my experts.
…
My experts couldn’t find much wrong. Just a usual boring interview. Figures.

Video #17: Marvel LEGO - E3 2013 Interview Preview
June 27th 2013

Yep, new Lego game… He never talked about Lego Lord of the Rings, did he?

Bland bland bland bland…
“You’ve done a lot of DC properties” All two of them. Lego Batman 1 and 2. Unless we’re in an alternate universe where Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Harry Potter are DC properties.
Oh that’s right, Disney owns both Marvel and Star Wars now. Hilarious.
The rep says there’s 70 characters in the game. Really? I’m reading there’s 120. Which is it?
So much blaaaaaah *reads Wiki article* Oh sweet, Agent Phil Coulson is in the game.

Video #18: Diablo 3 Multiplayer! - E3 2013 Interview Preview
June 28th 2013

I would say I’m surprised, but he’s mentioned Diablo in the past. Like when he compared it to Castlevania Portrait of Ruin. Man… he sucks at comparisons.

Bores mentions he didn’t play Diablo III on PC because of the rumors about a console version. So if he’s willing to play PC games, why doesn’t he review them?
He also brings up the multiplayer. A feature Bores will ignore if he ever reviews this game.
“I heard you don’t have to be online to play multiplayer?” Well, not everyone since there’s LAN, but considering you have no friends, you’ll need to be online.
Gauntlet comparison…
Bores claims he remembers the original Diablo port on PS1, saying the controls were clunky. Either Steve told him this… or he really did play Diablo. What is he?

Maybe Bores really did play Diablo. There are people out there that have only played World of Warcraft, or Call of Duty. But that’s the thing, they’ve only played that one game, they know they’re not hardcore gamers. So why does Bores pretend to be hardcore? Why does he pretend to be an expert? Years ago I saw SWAGshow defend that, saying “he’s not a hardcore gamer”. Then why is he pretending to be a know-it-all with that “History of Video Games” crap? By the way, it’s been over 15 months since Bores released Part 5 of that. He still expects people to take this seriously?

Anyway, last video for this post.

Video #19: Disney’s Fantasia - (music evolved for Kinect) E3 2013 Interview Preview
June 28th 2013
Exclusive to YouTube

Fucking Kinect game? Seriously Bores? You can’t use it in your room! I’ve seen the room you do your videos, it is tiny! By the way, you never did talk about Kinect Star Wars since E3 2011. What happened, did the fact that you were the only person above the age of eight to like that game scare you?

I’ll be honest, when I heard the title I thought this could have been interesting. Making Fantasia set pieces set to all kinds of classical music. Then I saw the trailer, and I heard Bruno Mars. Yeah this is going to suck… Harmonix has fallen hard.

We actually get some footage of Bores playing, and good lord this game looks awful. Hey Harmonix, remember when you tried to get people to play real guitar with the “Pro Guitar” in Rock Band 3? Now we have… fireworks.
“This game is amazing” You know nothing Bores.
Then he compares it to Guitar Hero, but says it’s not like Guitar Hero. Ow, this hurts my brain.
Bores’ ADD must love the flashy colors, because this still looks terrible.
He asks if there’s Disney characters, and the rep goes into some schlock about music and interactivity. That’s funny, I heard Mickey and Yen Sid are going to be in the game. Fuck when is Kingdom Hearts III coming?

Bores urges everyone to check it out, and we end on more footage of him playing. When will he see Kinect is just a terrible gimmick?

It’s Friday so it’s time to post this. Aaagh, how much longer do we have of this?