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Friday, 3 August 2012

I am Lego Vengeance, I am the Lego Night! I ... Talk About This Boring Lego Game Review!

Posted on 23:21 by Unknown
Ugh, it’s been so long since his last video that I’m kind of out of practice. *breathes* You’re a liar, you fail at research, you’re not a gamer, you cheat too much, and you’re unoriginal. There we go.

But yeah, it’s been a while since he uploaded anything of merit. The last video was posted July 18th. I don’t think he gets how this “getting paid by YouTube” thing works.

As you probably can tell, it’s a Neo video. Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes. Also known as the best Superman game ever made (no joke). And only a month and a half after it came out.

Normally, Bores posts the previous Neo video to YouTube when the new one goes up on GotGame. Considering what’s in the Sonic Generations review, that’s probably not going to happen. Instead, he announces the winners of his last contest. Say, did he ever announce the winners of that PS3 chicken game? I don’t think he did.

I love how he has to edit the video because he couldn’t remember the site’s name. Seriously, there’s a poorly-hidden jump-cut there.
As well as showing the winners. Congratulations, enjoy your douchey jewelry. Be careful your necks don’t turn green.
He also announces that he plans to give away … an HD Capture Card. WHAT?! How the hell did you get that? God damn it! He also keeps referring to “they”, like “they’re giving it away on this channel”. Who’s they?! What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?!
Also, it’s pronounced “CAP-ture” not “Kep-ture”. I don’t think that’s an accent thing either.
“So that will be really awesome for you… you guys” Most of your fans are little kids that are likely too dumb to figure out how it works, resorting to a video camera in the end.

He also says the next video is an I Rate the 80’s. Remember when everyone thought that was going to be his main show now, but after that he hasn’t made any episodes since January? Good times.

Anyway, *turns on snark signal* to the video.

0:06 - 0:13: The video opens with IG announcing the game and OH GOD THE DISC! Don’t hold it like that, you’re going to ruin it! Why couldn’t you just show the box? Unless GotGame didn’t send him the box. Still, use a picture or something. Don’t hold a game disc like that! Jeez.

0:14 - 1:04: “If you enjoyed the first Lego Batman, then you’re going to love this” Going to need some Bat-Booze.
“Warner Bros. went above and beyond…” Traveller’s Tales. WB just published it.

He brings up that he prefers DC over Marvel, and was “a-static” over the fact you play as other DC characters besides Batman. He lists a few of them and how they’re all playable. I love how he’s so lazy that he has to reuse his E3 footage instead of making his own. Kind of tells me he didn’t get too far.
“Makes me wonder why they didn’t call this Justice League Lego” Because the first Lego Batman already existed, and it’s easier to advertise to people that… never mind it’s impossible to explain to you.

1:05 - 1:53: “A huge open universe” Universe, really? Hey guys, Just Cause 2 isn’t on the island of Panau, it’s an entire universe! I know he follows with “situated in Gotham” but that just sounded wrong.

He explains how you can run, drive or fly around. Saying you can continue the story or run off to parts unknown. Then adds some text saying “Now Entering: Parts Unknown”. Wasn’t funny, but it wasn’t painfully over the top or in my face so… D minus?

He brings up that the Co-Op is well done, explaining how each character has their abilities that need to be used to solve puzzles. That’d be nice if you clearly weren’t just playing by yourself. The second characters clearly says “Press Start”.

He moves onto the story, saying it’s really well done. Are you going to mention how this is the first Lego game to have voice acting? Considering you put Lego Star Wars, Indiana Jones and Batman on your Top 5 DS games, this wasn’t your first Lego game. You should know that the games never had voice acting outside of grunts. Not going to mention that?

1:54 - 2:49: IG then moves onto the “flawls”, and yeah he says that way again.
He didn’t like how you could only control Batman, Robin and Superman in the main story mode, and the other characters were relegated to side quests. He demonstrates this with the actual Lego figurines. … Did you seriously go out of your way to buy all of these just for this review? That’s just dumb. You’re not reviewing the toys, you’re reviewing the game.
He then brings up how Superman’s flying gave him “vertigo” and he fakes vomiting. You should probably see a doctor for that, because that’s your problem, not the game. I didn’t have that problem flying around.

2:50 - 3:07: He brings up how we see DC characters in Lego form, listing off a couple. Then demands that Lego make more of them. Why do you care? You don’t collect or build Lego sets, you just bought this figures to display in your review and say “Look what I got gamers! Oooooh!”

And now, the final verdict. He liked it, and Lego fans will like it. Laziest final verdict ever!
He does his send-off, but then a Lego Batman figurine appears to say “Game On” instead. Fuck you. Enough with ending Batman videos with damn figurines saying stuff. Like “Happy Thanksgiving” in the Arkham City video. Uggggh.

This video was… eh. He didn’t really say too many stupid or wrong things, and the only painful joke was saved for the very end. Still, it seemed unnecessary to buy the Lego DC Superhero sets just to show off. Overall, not the worst.

So… yeah. We’ll see how long it takes for his next I Badly Explain the 80’s to come out.
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