Wanted Dead or Alive: A Script

After four months of waiting, his new IG video is finally out. What, it’s not his new IG video? It’s a Neo video? Figures. What’s it about? Dead or Alive 5? Wow, that just came out today! He must have gotten an early review copy from GotGame. … This is going to blow hard isn’t it?

Just from the title I can tell this will fail. He calls it a “short handed” review, and short is right, it’s only 2 minutes long. Because of the length, I’m not going to do my usual recap style with the timestamps.

Right off the bat, you can tell this was unscripted and likely done in one take. How? He scratches his chest! That’s not the type of thing you show in a video!
“If you like fighting games, this one’s for you” I’m this close to writing up an Irate Gamer drinking game. Take a shot every time he says “If you like x, then you’ll like this/this is for you”
He also brings up that you have hot chicks beating the crap out of each other. No surprise there…

He brings up Mortal Kombat again, and that MK is his standard for how fighting games should work with “secret moves” and “all that stuff”. That’s a really weird standard. All fighting games have “secret moves”, they’re called specials. It’s not a big deal. A real standard would be Virtua Fighter, or anything by SNK.
He once again brings up the hot chicks. You’re starting to sound a bit perverted.

IG brings up he prefers playing the girls over the guys because they’re “normal guys you can find in other fighting games”. Okay, now you’re really starting to sound like a pervert! By the way, Ryu Hayabusa is in this game. You won’t find him in “every other fighting game”, just the DoA ones. Plus, Ryu is a major selling point.

He goes to the story mode and says it isn’t that special. Then mentions he only got through an hour of it thus making his point void. Come on, you got an early copy and you couldn’t even play the whole thing? I am so glad GotGame doesn’t give him RPGs, I would hate to see him review the upcoming Tales of Xillia after a couple hours.
He says his reason for not going any farther is that he couldn’t get into it because he doesn’t know everyone’s special moves. Psst, there’s a moves list if you pause the game. Every fighting game has one. It’s a secret to everybody.
“Like I said, I prefer playing the hot girls instead of the guys” Because you’re a perv.

He mentions he got his ass kicked by the computer because he didn’t know all the special moves. Are we going around in circles? I feel like he keeps mentioning the same points over and over. How the fuck does GotGame allow this?!
Also, the reason isn’t because you don’t know the special movies, it’s because you suck. I thought we’ve made this perfectly clear by now.

“This one might not appeal to all fighting genre fans out there” But… but… but you said in the beginning that if you “like fighting games, this one’s for you”. This is why writing a script is so important! Especially for someone like you!
And of course, he ends on a shot of a female figher’s ass. Keeping it classy, Bores.

That was garbage. But I expected as much from the title “short handed”. Not even a mention of multiplayer. Far too many mentions of the "hot chicks". All kinds of bleh.
At the beginning of the video, he said Tecmo themselves sent him the game. If that’s true, they really should reconsider who they give free copies to. Then again, he was the only person to praise Ninja Gaiden 3 so they probably see him as a dumbass willing to praise anything they do.