And Now: Videos I Skipped Over

Bores refuses to give a real reason to his severe schedule slip so we’re stuck waiting for his next “masterpiece” and for parody-makers like Irritated Gamer and Third Rate Gamer to get more material.
So to pass the time, I’m going to rant over the videos I skipped because I didn’t feel like watching them. These include non-IG videos, his “blooper” reels, and anything else that he chose to upload on his account.
Again I will NOT be covering Haunted Investigators, those are just painfully boring to sit through.

The first video I skipped was his review of The Sopranos series finale or as he titles it “the SOPRANOS: Final Last Episode Review (we got whacked)”. This was the fourth video he uploaded to his account after The Goonies II.

The video starts with Bores on camera telling people to calm down over the ending and a title card that says “Irate Gamer on: Season Finales”. Question, why are you in character if you’re not talking about video games? He did the same thing in his Aladdin update video he started off saying “Hi guys, Irate Gamer here.” By the way a “season finale” is when the show ends their seasonal run and will come back next year, a “series finale” means the show is over for good. Unless you’re in Europe then everything is messed up over there.

He goes on that if you have a hit show you’ll get a lot of fans and the last episode better be good. Then starts listing off memorable finales mentioning Arrested Development (YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THAT SHOW!)
Then talks about the Seinfeld finale and how it’s not as bad as people thought (yes it is). He also talks about Sliders (NOT WORTHY OF THAT SHOW) as an example of a show that suffers seasonal rot.

Bores goes over The Sopranos “multiple plot-lines comparing them to “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” and how everything was resolved. Next Generation was better dumbass.
He claims that the series needed closure to see if the characters moved on or some crap like that, following that with “This is the most important thing I’ll ever say in my life” and blacking-out, making fun of the finale he was complaining about. That joke was never funny, even when Spoony did it in his Dirty Harry review I didn’t laugh.

This video felt like “Hey guys I’m cool right? I watch all these TV shows and everything!” A finale doesn’t need to resolve every plot line, sometimes it’s nice to leave things open-ended and up for debate. That’s one thing I didn’t like about Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, they tried to fill every plothole in the last minute leaving us with a semi-rushed ending.

The second video I skipped was a commercial for his DVD.

The first line of the video was “You asked for it, you got it!” Who asked for it? Is your ego that inflated that you think people wanted this? He also calls it a “hit popular show”, so yes his ego is that bad. NEXT VIDEO!

A preview for his second Contra episode.
It’s just a bland trailer showing that he’ll review Super C and Contra Force with his fake deaths, that bad NES-hand photoshop, and using his Game Genie. NEXT VIDEO!

Outtakes from his Contra episodes, or as he titles it “Contra Trilogy of Outtakes”. What does that mean?
The entire video is just Bores stumbling over lines. It’s so exciting! Sometimes he’ll stop in the middle of a sentence, sometimes he’ll fumble a word, and if we’re lucky he would just laugh. Let these set the tone for future outtakes.
By the way, any scene with the Wise Sage is covered in green screen. He took a picture of his wall, and put it in chromakey just so he could rip off Star Wars.

The preview for his Predator episode.
The first title card says “Only 2 more episodes left of Season 1” and this confuses me. When he listed his episodes by season at his site (now he does it by year) he said Q*bert was the end of Season 1 and Predator began Season 2. If Predator was meant as the second-to-last episode then why is the ROB episode part of Season 2? What were you planning Bores? Do I even care?
Oh and he uses that “epic” music from the end of his Goonies II review. NEXT VIDEO!

After the Predator review, he released an update to his Top 10 Summer Movies of 2008 list.
He mentions Dragonball getting delayed but still hopes the movie will be good. Really what was he expecting from this shit? He also explains that he didn’t include Star Trek or Harry Potter because they weren’t summer movies (even though they both came out Summer 2009 not Fall/Winter 2008) and anticipates the GI Joe movie (ugh).
He keeps mispronouncing pictures, he doesn’t pronounce the c making it sound like “Pitchers”. NEXT VIDEO!

Preview for his ROB episode.
“Two months in the making” Did most of that time involve buying posters and consoles off eBay? Along with finding the right shirt to completely copy the AVGN? And studying Awesome Video Games’ ROB videos so you can steal from them as well?
“Over 11 Hours of Footage Recorded” So if he recorded 11 hours, then why did it take two months? If you’ve seen the review he doesn’t use a lot of effects, in fact the first video doesn’t have any effects.
“This will be a review to Remember!” Why is remember capitalized?
Then a montage of footage… NEXT VIDEO!

Preview for ROB Part 2.
I love how he uses trailer music that sounds like The Dark Knight’s trailers. Isn’t that cute he thinks he’s epic.
NEXT VIDEO!

Oh fu-, Chris & Scottie Road Trip 2 BLOOPERS. Kill me.
It’s the same shit of fumbling over lines. Though some of the laughing scenes are convincing bloopers, even though they aren’t funny. By the way, they were barefoot the entire time. Just an interesting thing to point out.
One of the comments on this video says “Did James Rolfe make roadtrip videos? No! This proves that Bores never copied him.” People are stupid.

Preview for ET episode.
Apparently his excuse for taking so long was saying “I’m reviewing ET, of course it will take a long time.” Even though ET is an Atari 2600 game and they don’t require days to complete. Hell ET is one of the few games that you can beat instead of just getting a high score.
He also calls it a double-sized episode. Is that Rice Krispanese for “I’m splitting it into two parts”?

Preview for Home Improvement episode.
What’s with the overly-dramatic Carmina Burana music? You’re reviewing Home Improvement it doesn’t require all that. Again adding “epic music” to your videos and trailers will not make them exciting.
The preview ends and the video continues to run, adding some text at the end asking people why they’re still watching, tells us it will come when it’s ready, and that he has a life (HAHAHA). He tries to joke about that saying he’s going to play with his GI Joe figures… and you ruined it.

Now Bloopers for Home Improvement, hoo boy. Luckily this is only a minute long.
Same bullshit of stumbling lines and pausing for no reason. But the last one wasn’t a blooper, it was Bores dancing with Tony. Why? What purpose did that serve? *sighs* NEXT VIDEO!

A preview for upcoming videos in October.
He said he’ll post the Halloween Special at the end of the month, which is odd since the Monster Party review came out November 8th. Doesn’t sound like October. He tells people to watch SWAG’s Robocop review and for no reason does the “SEGA” shout from the commercials. Pointless pointless pointless. NEXT VIDEO!

A commercial advertising his show is only on YouTube.
Is this supposed to be a parody of something? “Gaming Tip #64, Galaga Aliens are not to be underestimated” and he follows that with clips from Contra Part 2 with Galaga ships trying to attack him.
Strange how he claims the show is only on YouTube even though he makes videos for GottGame. Unless he’s deluded enough to think the Neo show is something completely different. That wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Preview for Monster Party episode.
Claims this was two months in the making (makes sense this time since he decided to play a bunch of pointless characters) and “You Won’t Believe What Happens”. Oh let me guess, boring sketches with a review in there that bitches about minor details. Did I win?

Bloopers for Monster Party episode. Only 41 seconds this time.
Same pointless shit. NEXT VIDEO!

A video about the announcement of a Green Lantern movie.
He gushes about being a HUGE Green Lantern fan, mispronounces Sinestro’s name (really, you’re a huge fan?) and that they’ll save him for the second or third movie. How do you even know they’ll make a second or third? Maybe the first movie will suck ass. Then goes on about Superman Returns being terrible. NEXT VIDEO!

Preview for Aladdin episode.
His ego has reached Seto Kaiba proportions! He titled this as a “Movie Trailer” and included the MPAA’s “This preview has been approved for all audiences” image. Oh and nice job photoshopping your site’s name in the image, it’s not like the MPAA doesn’t own that OH WAIT THEY DO!
He actually includes segments of the “I Wish I May, I Wish I Might” poem. Wow.
Then tries to make it look “epic” with trailer music and flashy images. *sighs* NEXT VIDEO!

Bloopers for Aladdin episode.
Same pointless bullshit. Though some shots of the Sage have the boom-mic peeking out. Of course it was covered in green-screen because that’s how all video game reviews should be done *takes out pistol and places in mouth* NO! I can do this.

Preview for Sonic Unleashed episode.
He calls it the newest Sonic game yet at the time of the video’s release Sonic and The Black Knight was out so you FAIL!
“Time to open up a hedgehog sized can of worms”. Not only is this unfunny, but real hedgehogs ARE the size of a can. Nice research asshole.
He then tells us to watch it at GottGame. Hmm, posting a trailer for a video that can only been seen on another site. Where have I heard this before?

Preview for History of Video Games Part 1.
“IG has reviewed the worst” *shows ET* “IG has reviewed the best” *shows Tetris* “IG has even reviewed the R.O.B.” *shows ROB* Wait, he admits he reviews good games? I… uh… *sighs*. Of course the example he used was Tetris, a game that everyone loves. He still can’t tell the difference between a good or bad game. By the way what was with “reviewed the ROB” that had no point.
I think he’s trying to emulate Awesome Video Games and Pat the NES Punk by making ROB a character, however he completely screws that up by using him for puns and hitting him for no reason.
“But now, it’s time to Start at the beginning…” Why is start capitalized? NEXT VIDEO!

Preview for Resident Evil 5 episode.
“In 2007, a Zombie broke into Irate Gamers room”. You referred to this Big Lipped Alligator Moment just for this trailer. What is wrong with you?
And where’s the apostrophe in Gamer?
I like how he included the controller shot from his video. Watch me fail in both the trailer and the review.
I noticed he doesn’t make trailers for his Neo reviews anymore, he just posts the previous video with a vague announcement that the next one is at GottGame.

Last video, his review of Star Trek 2009.
Bores gushes that the movie was good and hopes they make more Star Trek movies. You do know there are 10 other movies out there right? He says he never liked the original series but says the characters here are great.
“There’s a lot of action and subtle moments that hardcore fans will notice.” Like what? You said you weren’t a fan yet you know about these moments? Mixing the messages again Chris.

He compares the movie to Star Wars which shouldn’t happen because the two series are nothing alike. Trekkies have enough problems then to get in feuds with Star Wars fans.
Then he talks about the comic prequel or something I lost interest at this point.
He ends the review saying that it’s an awesome flick.

THERE! That’s all the videos I skipped over. This should hold you over until Bores next “magnum opus of failure.”