Huh, turns out he’s still doing IG Neo episodes for GotGame. I still wonder why he removed the site link though. Maybe he figured out he’s not the only person on the site and by linking it, his fans will see the other, sometimes better reviewers there. “NOOO they can’t learn about them! It’s all about me! Me me me!”
Anywho, what’s he looking at this time? Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection. Oh joy, get your helmets on cause the bias steamroller is rolling on down.
Wait, a modern review of a retro game. I’m surprised he didn’t try to make a regular Irate Gamer episode out of this. Then again it probably wouldn’t fit into his dumbass plot.
0:00 - 0:24: That “opening title” thing he does is decked out in jack-o-lanterns and orange, signifying this is Halloween-related. You couldn’t have chosen an actual horror game to review Bores?
There’s Dead Space 2, Limbo, Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D, Splatterhouse, House of the Dead: Overkill, Amnesia: The Dark Descent (oh wait, he doesn’t do PC games), Dead Island, hell Plants vs. Zombies would be more appropriate. I know some of these aren’t too recent but when the hell has that stopped him?
IG’s room is dark with orange lights, he has a pot in front of him. Going by this and his latest contest video, this seems to be his “set” for Halloween.
“After the success of the latest Mortal Kombat game, I decided to go back in time and look at the Mortal Kombat Kollection now offered on the Playstation Network” And Xbox Live Arcade. By the way, the Kollection came out after MK9 did. I know what he means but the lines still sounds off-putting.
0:25 - 0:43: IG starts the game and gets an update notice. “ Gosh dang, I hate these things.” How is this a big deal? Just about every PS3 and 360 game has them when you first boot up a game after the initial launch. Patches are important to improving a game, and that’s what these updates do. They get rid of glitches and other issues. Also, gosh dang? What are you nine?
“After waiting for that damn thing to download” Yes, all 29MB of it. Sure takes foreveeeeeer to download something that big. I think Chris is off his Ritalin if this is a complaint.
“… the start-up screen here allows you to choose between the first three Mortal Kombat arcade versions… of the game” Technically no, you do get MK1 and MK2, but you don’t get Mortal Kombat 3. You get the updated Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. There is a difference.
0:44 - 1:01: IG tells us that “back in the day” (pfft) he liked playing the Sega CD version of MK1 because it was identical to the Arcade version. Hahaha oh wow. Completely forget about the load times Bores? Or graphics that aren’t Arcade perfect? I really doubt he owned a Sega CD as a kid, he’s just pulling more stuff out of his ass.
“Playing the chure Arcade version is the way to go” What does that mean? I’m pretty sure “chure” isn’t a word. *gets note* Oh… apparently he was saying “true”. Would it kill him to enunciate?
He then brings up that he plays the game with his MK Arcade stick. I’m sure GotGame is glad their wasted money is being used, instead of being played for an hour and thrown away.
1:01 - 1:31: “Now this game is pretty much the exact same as the original” That’s not entirely true. There are sound issues and replaced sounds that weren’t in the original.
Blah blah blah nostalgic feeling blah blah blah.
It cuts to IG “Winter Gaming” with the PS3 controller. I thought he was playing with the Arcade stick? Consistency is for losers!
“And then I get my ass kicked? That’s just great…” Haw haw, I mean oh well.
“In case you’re wondering, all the Fatalities are here” *headdesk* Nobody was wondering that! It shouldn’t be a surprise that Arcade ports of Mortal Kombat have all the Fatalities! I’m 100% convinced, Bores doesn’t care for the actual fighting game part of MK, he only cares that there’s blood and gore.
1:32 - 2:00: He goes back to the menu and… gets another update. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’s really doing this isn’t he? It’s like he couldn’t think of Mortal Kombat jokes, or any realistic jokes so he saw the patch update and thought “This will be my recurring joke, I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense”.
He moves onto Mortal Kombat II, says it’s good and violent, and loses again. Cue the constipated look of anger while staring at the camera! Man, he hasn’t done one of those in a while.
2:01 - 2:16: He heads to the menu and changes the difficulty to Very Easy (HA!). However, he claims that he felt no difference with the adjusted settings. Ahhh there’s the problem, it’s not too hard you just suck.
Well, the computer AI was designed to be cheap in order to suck more quarters out of players. But despite IG’s claim, there are differences in the difficulty. If one is a tiny-bit competent, they will win. Once again going back to him sucking. Man, imagine if Bores picked up an SNK game. It would end him.
2:17 - 2:39: IG brings up the Moves List, or “Cheat-sheet” as he calls it, in the pause menu. Yes, just like every other fighting game you’ve looked at on your show. Not sure how this is a big surprise to you.
He wins a match, performs a Fatality but… *sighs* that update shows up. The Rule of Three has once again been eviscerated, can’t have an IG episode without that happening. THIS ISN’T FUNNY!
“Ah son of a bitch.” His reaction was just as dull as that joke.
IG gets to the “final verdict”
“This one is best suited for old-school fans of Mortal Kombat” TELL ME MOAR!
He then says he got bored after a while. Wait wait wait. I thought he was a fan of Mortal Kombat? He always goes on and on about how great it is, and when he actually reviews the old games he says he was BORED of them? Once again, we have another lie from Bores. They just keep piling on and piling on and it is getting disgusting.
He also claims he was felt jaded because of the new game. That’s not what “jaded “means Chris. It would mean you didn't like the Kollection, and it sounds like you somewhat did.
Video over.
Well that was… lame. As expected he barely went into the games, focusing more on the violence. That update joke was dreadful and really out-of-place. And once again he LIES to us, he never was a fan of Mortal Kombat. He just claimed that to sound “cool” because it’s violent and liking violence means you’re cool or something. I don’t know, it’s just beyond comprehension at this point.
Then again, it's pretty obvious that he isn't a fan since he didn't spell it "Kollection".
In non-IG news, Bores announced that Haunted Investigators is coming back next year. Either this is another lie for more attention, or he's delusional enough to think that people were clamoring for more of that snooze-inducing tripe. Oh boy, can't wait to watch two idiots walk around an abandoned building finding nothing. Maybe one of them will run into a wall and blame the ghosts!
EDIT: Forgot to include the update video!
Here he DOES mention that it's also available on Xbox Live Arcade. Gee, you'd think a detail like that would be worth mentioning outside of an update video.
He says that DatBoiDrew needs help with his new game because he's "a friend of the show". I like how he says "the show" like it's really big and isn't just one guy sitting in a room, or he's unable to say "a friend of mine" for some reason.
And next is a Halloween episode of I Rate the 80s. I really hope it isn't Count Chocula...
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