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Thursday, 8 August 2013

The Long-Awaited Reveal of the Irate Gamer Game! ... What the Hell Is This?

Posted on 16:02 by Unknown
The so called "Irate Gamer Game" has been the butt of many jokes on this blog for years now. I still remember the Facebook page from 2011. Either way, everyone laughed as it became clear this game was never coming.
Then recently, Bores started claiming that the Irate Gamer Game is actually coming soon, and even listed on his new site that it's coming in August. I rolled my eyes at the idea and said the game is still a phantom until I see evidence.

Welp... we have evidence. Over at his site. He also included two pictures which I will post here.


... Oh dear lord this looks horrid.
It looks like every single terrible iOS game out there. I swear I've seen that sun background in other iOS games.
As you can see, it's a platformer, which is the kiss of death for a system that relies on touch controls. Even then, I imagine this is going to be a buggy mess.
This looks worse than Flash games on Newgrounds. Look at the ice in the first image, the smaller platforms not only not match up with the giant cliff, but it looks like they just slapped them on top of it. This is so lazy.
The D-Pad in the corner has a white line going through it for some reason.
I see coins, but I don't see what they can be used for. No coin counter, no points, do they restore health? Because that would be way too easy... and perfect for Bores. Son of a bitch.

This... can't be real. This has to be a joke.
What does Bores say about this in the article?
He says that since it's going to the Apple store, the best way to describe the layout is like... Angry Birds? *looks at Angry Birds, then looks at IG Game* Have you ever even played Angry Birds? The two look nothing alike. Just because both are on iOS doesn't mean they're similar. Also, Angry Birds is available on other consoles.
He says there will be over 60 levels. Going by the pictures, I imagine it will get boring after 10.
He doesn't know an exact release date and that if it does well, more games will be planned. Do you not have contact with these people? Surely they could tell when it's ready. Also, this game is going to bomb, even at its possible $1 dollar price point (and that's still a rip-off). Sure some fans of his will buy it, maybe some detractors out of morbid curiosity, but it's going to get lost in the deluge of iOS garbage.

Three years people. This game was at least three years in the making. What were they doing? Did they just take Chris' money, spend it on hookers and blow, and when Chris started getting curious they slapped this crap together in a weekend?
You know, iOS does allow free trials of all their games. But I fear that even the trial would brick my phone.
I just...wow. I need to go remind myself of good games. I got Pikmin 3 and Tales of Xillia waiting.
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